Can you slam a revolving door?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?
What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?
Can you read a picture book?
Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
Is there still a north, south, east, and west in space?
If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Do bald people get dandruff?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
Have you ever wondered why in the 1500's nude photos/painting were art, while today it's pornography?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
Do bubbles freeze in winter?
Do suicide hotlines have hold?
Have you ever wondered why in the 1500's nude photos/painting were art, while today it's pornography?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide ... is it considered a hostage situation?
What’s the other word for synonym?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
If you can see your breath outside on a cold day, could you see your fart?
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Hmm...think them over...
We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words.
-- Anna Sewell, Black Beauty, 1877
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana, Soliloquies in England, 1922, "War Shrines"
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
-- Will Durant
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
-- Joan Klempner
The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going.
-- David Starr Jordan
A moment's insight is sometimes worth a lifetime's experience.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
-- Edward Abbey
Be not ashamed of thy virtues; honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Ben Jonson
Never fight an inanimate object.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
-- Phyllis Diller
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.
-- Patricia Neal
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
-- Japanese Proverb
The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.
-- Lady Bird Johnson
War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
-- Georges Clemenceau
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Joseph Baretti, quoted in Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau
To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.
-- Andy and Larry Wachowski, The Matrix, 1999
The unspoken word never does harm.
-- Kossuth
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
-- Ring Lardner, "How to Write Short Stories"
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
-- Jay Leno
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.
-- Rita Mae Brown
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Childhood"
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
-- Totie Fields
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
-- George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901)
The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself.
-- Alan Alda
You can cover a great deal of country in books.
-- Andrew Lang
To want to be what one can be is purpose in life.
-- Cynthia Ozick, O Magazine, September 2002
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
-- Dean Martin
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- A. Whitney Brown
I can resist anything but temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
-- Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-- Bill Lyon
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
-- G. K. Chesterton
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
-- William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1600
Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.
-- Max Frisch
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
-- Henry Kissinger
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
-- Isaac Newton
Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.
-- Carl Sagan, Cosmos (Blues for a Red Planet)
The only factor becoming scarce in a world of abundance is human attention.
-- Kevin Kelly, in 'Wired'
Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary.
-- Julius Rosenwald
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
-- Blake Clark
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
-- Unknown
The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
-- Samuel McChord Crothers, The Gentle Reader
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
-- Chinese Proverb
It is common sense to take a method and try it; if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt
If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.
-- Michelangelo Buonarroti
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
-- Italian Proverb
Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do.
-- Peter McWilliams, Life 101
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan, English Social History (1942)
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright
-- Anna Sewell, Black Beauty, 1877
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana, Soliloquies in England, 1922, "War Shrines"
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
-- Will Durant
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
-- Joan Klempner
The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going.
-- David Starr Jordan
A moment's insight is sometimes worth a lifetime's experience.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
-- Edward Abbey
Be not ashamed of thy virtues; honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Ben Jonson
Never fight an inanimate object.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
-- Phyllis Diller
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.
-- Patricia Neal
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
-- Japanese Proverb
The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.
-- Lady Bird Johnson
War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
-- Georges Clemenceau
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Joseph Baretti, quoted in Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau
To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.
-- Andy and Larry Wachowski, The Matrix, 1999
The unspoken word never does harm.
-- Kossuth
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
-- Ring Lardner, "How to Write Short Stories"
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
-- Jay Leno
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.
-- Rita Mae Brown
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Childhood"
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
-- Totie Fields
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
-- George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901)
The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself.
-- Alan Alda
You can cover a great deal of country in books.
-- Andrew Lang
To want to be what one can be is purpose in life.
-- Cynthia Ozick, O Magazine, September 2002
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
-- Dean Martin
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- A. Whitney Brown
I can resist anything but temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
-- Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-- Bill Lyon
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
-- G. K. Chesterton
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
-- William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1600
Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.
-- Max Frisch
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
-- Henry Kissinger
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
-- Isaac Newton
Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.
-- Carl Sagan, Cosmos (Blues for a Red Planet)
The only factor becoming scarce in a world of abundance is human attention.
-- Kevin Kelly, in 'Wired'
Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary.
-- Julius Rosenwald
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
-- Blake Clark
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
-- Unknown
The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
-- Samuel McChord Crothers, The Gentle Reader
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
-- Chinese Proverb
It is common sense to take a method and try it; if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt
If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.
-- Michelangelo Buonarroti
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
-- Italian Proverb
Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do.
-- Peter McWilliams, Life 101
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan, English Social History (1942)
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.2.jpg)