96.7% of all statistics are made up.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates
A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
All programmers are playwrights & computers are lousy actors.
Artificial Intelligence: Making computers behave like they do in the movies.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(A)bort, (R)etry or (G)et a stick and kill it.
As easy as 1, 2, 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup aborted: Please remove disk #192 and start over.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be disappointed.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
But I thought YOU did the backups...
C program run, C program crash, C programmer cry.
"Calm down. It's only ones and zeros."
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers can never replace human stupidity
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy?
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
Fatal mouse error. (B)ury or (R)eplace?
FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! - Press any key to do nothing...
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.
Friends don't let friends use Windows.
General Brain Failure. (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h.
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Hey, what’s that beeping noise? Where’s that smoke coming from?
I to±d yo±, "Never±touch ±he flo±py di±k su±face!
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse.
If IBMs have Bugs, Do APPLES have Worms?
If Windows is User-Friendly, why do you need to read a 672 pages manual?
If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!
Keyboard not connected, press F13 to continue
MicroSoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
Mouse not found. Driver not installed. Click to continue.
Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...
New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
Nothing beats Windows, it keeps loading and loading and loading...
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
One person's error is another person's data.
One picture is worth 128K words.
OS/2? What's that? Half of an Operating System?
Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.
Press any key to start formatting the hard disk.
Press Ctrl-Alt-Del for unlimited access to this system.
Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory.
Sector not found... Did you look under the sofa?
Simon says stand! Simon says sit! Format drive C:! Ha! Gotcha!
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
The most expensive component always breaks first.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot.
We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Windows Error: 001 - Windows loaded. System in danger.
Windows Error: 002 - No error yet ...
Windows Error: 003 - Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Windows Error: 004 - Erroneous error. Nothing wrong.
Windows Error: 005 - Multitasking attempted. System confused.
Windows Error: 010 - Reserved for future mistakes
Windows isn't a virus... Viruses do something…
Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS.
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